Even as I type I can feel lethargy creeping into me, and I know it's going to be another one of those days at work.

I really wish that I was super-busy and didn't have to come up with my own projects because that is hard and I would rather be doing a million different things not sitting at this desk getting chair ass.

In fact, I could probably be brushing up on my grammar. 

Sometimes this job is great, but other times it is the biggest f*ing waste of my life.  Paycheck.  Think Paycheck. (paycheck good!)

In good news, A. and I went to see Phantom of the Opera last night in SF.  It was amazing!  The sining was awesome, of course, but what I was really impressed with was the set.  Beautiful & it changed so fast! 

A. wanted to take me for milkshakes at Mel's after the show, but I was super-tired and already thinking about how painful this morning would be... I felt v. bad b/c it was an I Want To Share My Childhood Memories With You moment.  He accused me of Never Wanting To Do Things Like That, but when I pressed him for examples, he had nothing.  

Secretly though, I think he's right.  I'm not a v. spontaneous person, and don't like to have The Plan messed with.  I should work on that.  Esp. if it would make A. really really happy. 

Then again, the man was still in bed when I left for work this morning... 

I chopped off a foot of my hair last night!

Everyone is looking at me funny today. I think they like it, but the first thing everyone says is "it so ... different..." with a look of, like, awe.  Then they are quick to correct themselves and note that it looks "good."

Screw 'em, I love it! 

My hair was so so long and so so blah!  I love the new cut, it actually has a style, which is going to be fun & definitely looks more professional. 

The only person whose opinion actually counts says he likes it, but feels like I'm a "different woman."  I feel like a different woman too! 

So there!

I put my shirt on backwards today.

And didn't even notice until an hour into work!  Yikes, it's going to be one of those days.

Also, worked out to Billy yesterday (for the first time in, seriously, months) and have sore thighs, sore shoulders, and a sore butt.  Now if I can just use that same motivation for cleaning up the house... I'll just "REACH FOR MY HIGHER POWER!" 

Yeah!

ugh.  Really, the house is so messy, and this time, I am the biggest culprit.  Must make it look presentable before Vanessa visits this weekend!  Ah.  Just listen to me talk about housework.  Pretty soon I will be extolling the joys of Scrubbing Bubbles and trading "good things" on Martha Stewart Chat. 

No, really, I won't.  These burst of inspiration usually happen when I am at my desk at work - and dissapate before I walk in the door at home!  Must find motivation!

I think I've had enough weddings now, thank you.

Well, we finally had our post-wedding wedding reception, and I can honestly say I am kind of relieved!  We had a wonderful time, but it is good to have the pressure and anxiety over with.  As my sister would say, my [social] butterfly wings are a little wilted.

Now back to real life.  We are working on the house & settling in.  Hopfully it will be move-in ready within 2-3 months...  We got some awesome wedding presents to play with, but I am saving them for the new place. 

Very happy the site is back up.

Continuing.

I actually found this site from a link to my old friend cat chen's blog.  From what it sounds like, she is doing some pretty amazing things with her life.  She is currently traveling in Nepal and working for women's rights in Asia.

What am I doing?  I work in HR at a law firm.  I sit in my office from 8am - 5pm.  Is it:

a. Interesting?  b. Challenging?  c. Helping the world in any way?

The answers are: a. Sometimes. b. Occasionally. c. Not really.

(Although, realistically it does a very important d -- bring home a steady paycheck.)

I am basically pretty happy, but when I read about real people that I know doing amazing things, for society, I feel kind of, well, lame. 

Then again, it's not like I can't change.  But do I really want to??  Ay.  There's the rub.  My life is pretty comfortable.  Great husband. Great family.  Beautiful place to live.  So what is it that I feel?  Guilt maybe? 

And that is what I have to say on Fear of Change for the moment.